There Is No Me Without You

The parasols, spinning like kaleidoscopes above the dusty crowded streets, sparkle with ancient secrets.

The traditional and modern swirl together like this everywhere. . . . A hand-lettered sign in a shop announces WE RENT MOTORBIKES, CAMELS. . . . And one day I glimpsed a shepherd and his sheep hitching a ride out of Addis on the top of an oil tanker. They straddled the silver missile and hung on for dear life, the man's hair and the animal's wool blown back in the wind. (p. 11)

There Is No Me Without You traces “one woman's odyssey to rescue the children of Africa” (the book's subtitle). With grace, sympathy, and lots of description, Melissa Fay Greene (freelance writer, journalist and mother of seven) tells the nuanced story of Harwegewoin Teferra, detailing her struggles to establish homes in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, for the orphaned children of the city (and those beyond the city gates), and capturing the internal and personal struggles that motivated her; a story that was still developing in mid-2006 when the book was published.

Greene alternates succinct, informative chapters on the history of and the “controversial” (in my opinion!) theories surrounding the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Africa with fascinating, colorful depictions of the life inside (and outside) the walls of Harwegewoin's compound. She weaves rich strands of Ethiopian history into her narrative and enlivens with the book with insightful characterizations of the people that surround the story of the Atetegeb Worku Metasebia Welage Aleba Histanet Merj Mahber (the Atetegeb Worku Memorial Orphans Support Association).

Untrained, occasionally stumbling, the demands of the ever-burgeoning numbers of children under her care (HIV-positive and -negative) are not always conducive to current Western methods and theories of hygiene and child development/care. Greene does not shy away from the controversies that surrounded, and at one point threated to overwhelm Harwegewoin's work. She explores the allegations of child abuse and neglect, as well as child-trafficking, that surfaced during the last two years (2005/2006), but uncovers a convincing series of alibis and reports that appear to clear Harwegewoin of any intentional misconduct. A European official, writing in October 2005 after a surprise visit to the compound, noted that “[t]o me what summarizes the children's experience is this phrase: 'She (referring to the orphanage director) is taking care of us according to her capacity. Here is not perfect but she's giving us all what she can'” (p. 352).

However it is the story of the children and, eventually, their new parents which lies at the heart of Greene's book. While she states very early on in the narrative that adoption can never be a total solution to the problems facing Africa's children, her book is a testimony to the differences that adoption can and should make in the lives of children. Towards the end of the book, Greene weaves in some humorous accounts of the children after their arrivals in new homes (p. 313, 314):

Abeltayit and Mekdelawit. . .had been adopted by Bob and Chris Little. . . . [Lingering] at the door of the girls' bedroom one night [Chris] heard Medelawit. . .praying:

“Thank you, God, for my mom. She's a good, good mom. She know how to be a good mom. Even when I mad, she love me. Even when I sad, she love me. Even when I do bad thing, she love me. My mom, she so cute. My mom, she not ugly. But she ugly, I still love her. Even if she ugly, I love her. Even if she really, really ugly, I love her. And she love me, if she ugly. But she not, she cute. Thank you, thank you, God, for good and cute mom.”

*

[Shortly after] Samuel, a seven-year-old. . .was adopted. . .he sweetly asked his mother one night if she would like him to butcher a cow for dinner. She thought not.

An extensive bibliography at the end of the book, along with detailed notes on each chapter, turn this highly readable work of nonfiction into a valuable resource for all sorts of current information on HIV/AIDS. Highly recommended.